Well, busy week is drawing to a close and I feel saddened. Feels weird that it was just over a week ago I was living the vida loca (ahem) in Glasvegas with Team Speccy Nerdy Fucknuts and just under a week ago I was partying like it was 1999 in Sheffield with Lady Miss Lady. Speaking of, have a picture:
See, it actually did happen.
Let’s do it all again sometime.
Thursday… I’ve covered that, ’twas the View, wunnit?
Friday was extra good. I spent most of the day doing nothing, then tried to catch a bus that was 40 minutes late at 5.30pm to go with Baz to meet Keri, John and Jonny at Slain’s before going to see Russell Howard. We had some drinks and headed off and got there in time to see Steve Hall be funny. He supported Russell last time I went to see him when I was sat at the back alone. Afterwards I immediately went home and… researched him makes me sound like a sex criminal… found him on myspace anyway and exchanged a few brief messages with him. It was only the other week when I saw a lot of photos had been tagged with him recently that I asked him if he was on tour with Russ again. He said he was, so I happily hyped him up to my friends. Yaaay! Anyway, back to Friday, he was very funny. Again, got everyone to shout out their favourite swear word. I’m very amused by the number of people I heard turn to their friends and whisper, “I’m gonna shout ‘cunt’, are you gonna shout ‘cunt’?”
Russell too was very good. Yawn-rape is possibly the best thing I’ve ever heard about. I know I say this a lot, but it was at the time. Guaranteed to be claiming something else was the best thing I’ve ever seen or heard within the next few paragraphs. Anyway, after the show, Keri was very excited by the thought of meeting Russell as he’s her new (of the past three months or so) hero, so as there was a group of people waiting behind, I suggested we do the same. Didn’t wanna break her little heart. It didn’t take long for them to emerge. Russell came out and Steve was behind him. Immediately people asked him for autographs as Steve looked around. I waved at him, walked right past young Russ and started talking. The first thing I said was, “Hello! How’re you? I’ve messaged you a few times on myspace.” (worst opener ever. How horribly new age and just… it’s as bad as saying “Oh, I’ll facebook you, yeah?” IT’S NOT A VERB!)
To which he smiled and replied, “Yeah I know, Kirsten, right?”
Win.
Anyhoo, we had a little chat, then various friends joined us as we tried to figure out somewhere to go and suggested places for them to go to. The only places we could think of were on Belmont Street. Slain’s was all I was saying, but I shoulda mentioned the Old School House. Only remembered when I was on my way home. So, Baz took a photo of us which I promised would go in my “Stalking” folder along with the picture of us and Derren Brown. So it has.
The queue of people for Russell had all buggered off, so we decided to quickly grab one with him as well (I think Keri may have died had she not got one)
Aww, look at her little delighted face. Nice to see that happen.
Baz hasn’t uploaded the picture of me and him, but it’s probably for the good of society. Anyway, they headed in the direction of Belmont Street and we were headed that way too. To stop us seeming like stalkers, we ran in front of them and went into Slain’s and they kept on walking.
I was the only one up for a drink, so thought we’d be as well catching the last bus instead. As we decided this, we were on our way out when the above men entered. We chuckled and went home. A good night indeed. Nice to finally meet Steve after not getting along to his Edinburgh show, grr…
Saturday. Yesterday. Went to Glasgow, got in later than planned and I made my way to Mr Ben’s. The bag I had my eye on the week before was still there and I had the money this time. Win. Proper old doctors bag with original key. Amazing thing, but the key is not advised, merely for show! Laura hates the bag. Jealous, obviously. I love it more than any child I’d ever have. Pictures to come at some point perhaps.
We walked to our Travelodge (hells yeah we knew the way!) and chilled out for a bit. Then went for food, then to the SECC for Boosh round three.
There’s not much more I can say that I haven’t already. Now I start to feel very nervous when I hear Tusk in its entirety before the start of the show… Very similar to the Brixton show, but with a few little differences that only the nerds’ll notice.
It was very good to see Fulch still managing to make everyone else corpse by ad-libbing. The line “I’ll do you like a stained lumberjack shirt.” in Booblay’s voice made everyone uncontrollable. I think Julian cried with laughter. It was very sweet. Also of note was the Hitcher saying “I’ve realised rape gags are alright… but only when they’re about crows doin’ it.”
Nothing else to say. One of the numbered footballs (yep, the little bingo balls have been ditched, t’would transpire) landed on one of the empty seats in the row behind us, but someone pounced on it. Damn.
We were gonna stick around after but we had no idea where the stage door was or anything and it was fucking freezing, so we walked back instead.
Woke at 9am and watched crappy kids tv. Nothing interesting happened the rest of the day except a strange encounter with some old people on the train resulting in some weird role reversal. I’ll perhaps explain someday, but probably not, for I am too tired just now.
So, on Tuesday as we made our way to Chateau Selly, I realised that ’twas the 25th November. This meant it was exactly a year since I’d seen that man live and met him for the first time, but ALSO exactly a year since I had my epiphany and thus, life calmed the fuck down a bit.
“Since what?!” you probably don’t say.
I’d had a lovely old time, singing some songs, hugging a hangman, walking down the steepest road in the world and we returned to the sister and her boyfriend’s flat.
I’ve just found my livejournal entry I wrote about that day, hoping to get my thoughts on the epiphany from at the time. All I’ve written is, “It was after this that we returned to the flat and I discussed dissertation worries. Then the epiphany came. The sister and the boyfriend noticed my lack of enthusiasm about the uni courses I applied for and it made me realise, I don’t particularly want to go. Have I ever? I’m not sure. I’ve just always presumed that’d be what’d happen… But as long as I get to London and write some funnies, I’ll be alright. I aim to work towards this by next September…”
Next September meant September 2008.
Okay, so right, that didn’t really happen. But I didn’t have as much time as I’d have liked. I left school in May, had two exams that I didn’t really revise for, spent July/August/September laughing and drinking, so where was there time to write funnies and move to London?
Naaah, it woulda been impossible to get to London this year. I only started earning money in July anyway. But it has been interesting since then…
This revelation led me to think, “Well… what am I in school for?” which allowed me to take it less seriously and chill out a bit. Stress almost automatically disappeared and I started enjoying life a bit. Since leaving school, I have been living the life of a waster. I work two days a week and am constantly swanning off to different cities to go to gigs/meet up with friends. This’ll change. I’m going to look for a full time job or a second part time one, but I’ve got so much crap booked until the end of the year that it’s probably for the best that I don’t go looking just now or else I’ll be taking too much time off too soon. So January is when I get my arse in gear.
I got a bit down a few months ago when everyone I knew was starting uni. Also, people would ask what I was up to and I’d have to explain to so many of them about not going to uni and that no, I don’t know what I’m going to do for the next while. It’s irritating, but at least I can enjoy life. I feel happy for my friends who are having a good time at uni, but at the same time, they complain a lot and have deadlines and stress and I’m really glad I’m missing out on that.
In other news, went to see the View last night. Had a Chinese and some Pimm’s at Laura’s beforehand, then some drinks at Archie’s, then we headed to the Lemon Tree where we looked wistfully at the kids in front of us. The people down the front were all about 14, 15, 16 and I suddenly felt so old. I had to tell myself that I’m only 18, this is crazy, but I sort of related to those kids ‘cos we used to always make sure we got to venues first and got right down the front. Although, I wouldn’t go back for all the money in the world. Doing this at gigs was the only thing I could do. I was miserable. 18 is a lot less hassle. It’s where the money is… maybe. Anyway, yeah, it was strange being at a gig where everyone seems younger than you. I spent the last few songs at the bar ‘cos I’m not up for being crushed much these days. I was appreciative though. They were much better than anticipated. And very funny without meaning to be. Dundonians, eh? Met up with Stuart, Jon and Jamie afterwards which was very funny. And Aileen who added me on a social networking site after recognising me from the Robots gig last year bumped into me. Lovely to finally meet her. Nice to meet people! This past year has been all about it. I’d name ‘em all, but I might save that for a bumper new year blog post. Ha! I bet you can’t wait…
I don’t know what I’m typing anymore…
Was awoken by a text this morning from Laura. She got the job and will be working at Disneyland in Merikee next summer. It’s effing brilliant. See? 2009 is already looking up! I’ll miss that girl though. Yesterday was the first time I’d seen her in just over a week and we were already waking up in cold sweats for going that long! 2009, year of dreams? Let’s ‘ope so, eh?
Do you reckon Megabus should introduce loyalty cards? I seem to never be off the effers.
So, busy week is in full swing and I’m loving it. Road trip at the weekend and ended up in Sheffield on Tuesday. I planned on not sleeping at all on Monday night in order to get up at 5.30am, but failed and fell asleep mid Man To Man With Dean Learner at 4.30am. Damn. Still caught my bus to Sheffield on time though. Sadly no bus nutters to report except the guy in front of me who headbutted the chair in front of him when its occupants stretched and put his hands there. What?!
The journey passed without hitch or interest. Listened to the Jarvis Cocker Record twice, Lightspeed Champion’s twice, Johnny Thunders – So Alone and others I can’t remember. Definitely some Human League at some point… Changed in Dundee, then again in Edinburgh, then we were Sheff-bound. Eventually tracked down where to get a tram and at about 5pm met Selly off of it. Ex. Ci. Ting! She walked me up her hill, which wasn’t as hilly as I was expecting but fair play to her for making her way up and down it every day. Went to her flat, more excitingness, got introduced to some friendly people and we decided in a neutral way to watch some Brass Eye before going to see the Cocker. (Looking back, we shoulda just watched Blouse – Me Oh Myra to get us in the mood) Sex and Paedo special. Much lols were had. Beer nearly came out my nose as per when watching anything by Chris Morris (and drinking at the same time, I mean, my nose doesn’t just turn into a beer fountain randomly when I’m watching the Day Today… but that would be freakin’ cool. And cheap. I’d only charge you a quid a pint. Although, it would be coming out my nose… I’ve not thought this through… I’ll install some sort of purifying system, that’ll do…)
So, we caught a bus to the Academy and I bought another tshirt with a swear word on it ‘cos like I’m so like post-modern and anarchic and like nihilistic. (It’s not good because it’s rude; it’s good because it looks like it’s good because it’s rude) and Selly bought us B££RZZZ (I owe you booze next time, love. When we all invade Sheffield whenever the Berry decided to tour again… or before)
Right, so yeah, there we were stood at the merch stand deliberating over what to buy (Rough Trade tshirts, Jarvis tshirts, comics from Jeffrey Lewis -a name I recognised from somewhere and concluded he must be the support act- and all that jazz) and a guy that looked really familiar came over and started talking to the merch-man. Then it clicked. The guy next to me was Jeffrey Lewis and I’d seen him on the culture show or something not that long ago. He was about to go onstage so the other fella wished him luck and off he scarpered. We soon followed suit and found a nice spot.
Last time I saw Jarvis I was stuck right at the back of the venue with three huge bags. By the time I did track down McKeown to take them backstage, I couldn’t get any closer. This time we were reasonably near the stage. Exciting for my first gig since May (Jamie commented on this the other day, “Fuck, that’s a long time… especially for you!”) Mr Lewis came onstage and immediately made everyone think he was adorable. Aww… I made a mental note to pick up one of his CDs on my way out, but I never did. He presented two ‘documentaries’. One was on the history of Rough Trade and I was the only person who seemed to cheer when Geoff was mentioned. The other was this…
What a sweet man. So yes, he was good.
Jarvis though. Words used to describe my adoration for this man are neither radical nor eloquent (it took me long enough to think of a word that eventually became ‘radical’ there) so forgive the next bit. It’ll just be ramblings and nostalgia.
The gig itself was unreal. He came on and the projector behind him was reading things like “Alright Sheffield? You having a good time? I can’t hear you: I said are you having a good time?” etc. He had a pointy stick which would later be used to lecture us on subjects from blues music to Dan Brown and Clive Cussler. He was very very funny. Each new song he explained before playing it. And the set was mainly new stuff. Usually I like a good mix of new and old, but this unheard stuff was fantastic and has left me pining for a new album soon, please Cocker. I don’t think I should be allowed to describe the whole gig and my thoughts or the internet will run out of pixels (that’s how the internet works. Don’t type ‘Google’ into Google!) but he did an encore in which he played Fat Children. I was hopeful for a double encore as he’d not played Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time. He returned again and spoke then said, “I’m sorry I’m wasting your time…” then nothing, “I said I’m sorry, I’m wasting your time…” and the band started playing. Very funny man!
Fantastic gig. He’s such a performer. He still dances in his own way and engages every single person in the building. All that I did notice was that for a home crowd, the Sheffield bunch weren’t very animated. They cheered and were obviously very appreciative to see the man in action, but me and Selly were pulling some shapes and only a few people around us were bobbing gently. Strange times. This continued after the second encore. He left the stage and the lights stayed down. The equipment started to be packed away so everyone was gonna leave when we heard a voice over the PA, “Sheffield… why aren’t you dancing?” everyone was confused as we could hear him but not see him. We thought he’d be on the balcony or swinging from the disco ball, but no… eventually, people started to cotton on that he was at the back of the room at the decks and was doing an impromptu dj set. Very strange. I got up to the front of his little cage and just sort of watched in awe of my hero who was one metre away from me playing good music. Then I felt bad that I wasn’t dancing. Obviously the guy next to me did too, so we both started singing and dancing together to Lipps Inc’s ‘Funkytown’. Tune. Everyone was just sort of staring at him and it made me feel uneasy. Just dance! Although he started signing things and getting photos taken with some people to the left of him, so I shamefully jumped on this bandwagon, determined to get my photo taken with my idol. Understandably, he was more interested in playing the right songs so seemed to stop signing things and getting photos done by the time I made me way round that side. I don’t feel bad though, he’s a lovely fella. It’s not his problem, he wasn’t obligated to do anything. I desperately want to go to his gig on Friday in Edinburgh, but I’m otherwise engaged. Damn Russell Howard (hey, Steve Hall’s supporting again, got a message from him on myspace, what a lovely!) I tracked down Selly who had bought his album, but like I said before, I forgot to get a copy of Jeffrey Lewis’. Probably for the best at the moment though as my iTunes appears to hate the world and isn’t working. Enough of that!
Here’s where things will get a bit hectic as I try to say too much at once and end up repeating myself and saying… nothing at all, really.
Now, Pulp were a very big part of my childhood. Easily the best Britpop band, but people seemed to be more fixated by Blur/Oasis, probably due to their rivalry. I’m only a little’un, born in the autumn of 1990, so I was merely five years old when Different Class was released. My sister, 10 at the time, bought it on tape. [Top Tip: If you are a five year old and you want to learn to be better than your friends (although if you're reading this, you are clearly an intelligent being with amazing taste -cough- and are already cool in my book) always make sure you have a cool older sister. If you don't have one, attach yourself to the closest ten year old you know who listens to the Rolling Stones and stuff.] Certain times in my childhood I can remember vividly, mostly all of them have music involved somehow. I remember a week after she bought it, a week of it whirring around our cassette player non-stop and I knew all the words to every song and Disco 2000 became my favourite tune ever as I thought it was about me and my next door neighbour Andrew (we were born within an hour of each other, our mothers said we could be sister and brother… they thought that when we grew up, we’d get married and never split up) A bit strange for a five year old to ponder, but I just presumed it was about us anyway. Despite the fact my name isn’t Deborah… and I had no idea what wood-chip was.
Looking back on it, I think the first time I must have seen Jarvis in action (as in… not in pictures) I was probably about 8 and it was the Common People video. My cousins had Sky and we only had channels 1-4, so music channels were a novelty to us. Still are, I suppose as Freeview only give you two. Anyway, they were showing Common People of one of the 100000 music channels and I remember being in awe of how pale Jarvis was. I am pale, he is pale, I related! And his dancing… wow. I was coming to it three years late, but it was very fresh and strange and good. That was when the man was crowned my hero. Cut to 2006 and I’m cursing the fact I have no money to buy his debut solo album until one day in December, a package arrives from Rough Trade containing Brakes – Beatific Visions; Albert Hammond, Jr – Yours To Keep and the Jarvis bloody Cocker record. For free. To this day, I love Rough Trade and will do forever. I was obviously very excited to listen to all of this new music, but especially Jarvis. It was a lunchtime and I was still at school, so quickly threw all the cds onto my iPod, forgetting to actually have lunch and listened to Jarvis on the way back to the education establishment. I remember I had history then. A subject I used to love, but at this point was failing miserably at. The entire lesson was spent talking about the album to anyone who would listen and how it was beautifully put together. This was after about 2 listens, so I probably couldn’t actually remember much of it, but was pre-empting my reactions after I knew it all off by heart. I’m such a freakin’ sycophant. But yes, it did blossom into one of my favourite albums of the year. In February of 2007, my friends’ band were due to support the man in Glasgow. I made my way down and was put on the guestlist, but as touched upon before, most of my night was spent at the back of the venue at the bar. Not too bad though, various members of Franz Ferdinand were milling about and I kept bumping into people I recognised which was fun. I remember being bemused by the room full of people shouting “Cunts are still running the world” along with him and loving the fact that he did a Jesus and Mary Chain cover.
In conclusion, Pulp. Yes. Jarvis. Yes. (Mock, yeah. Ing, yeah. Bird, yeah.) I know I never claim to have a favourite band and if I’m talking about the Cure or the Smiths for example, I’ll say “They’re one of my favourite bands!” but at the back of my mind, my brain is asking itself, “So who is your favourite band then?”
To which it’ll reply to itself, “Well… how do we choose?”
“Hmm… interesting question… Well, I suppose you’d go for a band that has made a huge impact on your life. They inspired you and you’ve fond memories of listening to their tunes.”
“Pulp then?”
“Yeah, Pulp.”
That’s that settled then.
On with the show! So me and El Sel (new name ahoy!) returned to her chambers via taxi and stopping at Nibbles (oh yeah, work that name, girlfriend) on the way. We watched Screenwipe on iPlayer and then AD/BC, spoke about allsorts and listened to some music while discussing the genius of Shirley Bassey (and every other Bond theme ever).
I slept on her floor and after I’ve submitted this entry (oo-er) I’m gonna score it off my life list on the About the “Author” page. Win! I still need to light a fag for an idol. Bonus points if it’s with a match and not a lighter. Oh damn, I coulda done one for the Cocker the other day! Ha!
So, woke at 9am yesterday and immediately fell back asleep until 10. I started to get my stuff together quietly so as not to disturb the lady lady. When she awoke, we discovered that my bus was at 12.30 and not 12. Win! This gave her time to have a shower an’ that. We walked back down the big hill, discussed the previous night’s shenanigans and Morrissey. I felt right sad. Selly, my dear, I did not get enough time with you, I fear. We’ll do it again sometime. I left her to catch a train back to Meadowhall and sadly got on my Megabus. Again, the journey was dull and took ages. By the end of it, I was starving, so ran to the chinese where they start making my order as soon as I go in. It’s like Cheers, but all they do is be polite and make me food, no witty banter. I like it though.
A debit card arrived from RBS today. I think it’s a bit fucking late considering they never gave me one when I needed it ages ago and I switched banks. It made me laugh though. Now I have two. Infuriating. But funny.
I’m gonna meet up with Baz le Baz in a few minutes to go to that coffee shop that’s recently opened at the end of the road. It’s strange there being somewhere like that right on my doorstep. I used to moan about having to hang around outside when I was about 14 ‘cos there was nowhere like that to go. Better late than never.
I’m being dragged to see the View tonight. I wouldn’t bother most of the time, but it’s at the Lemon Tree. Nice to see bigger bands play smaller venues. Bring on the drunkness. Them, not me.
What a strange and peculiar weekend! Strange and peculiar are code-words for “Awww, ace!”
On Friday, I awoke to find it was snowing. Brrrr… I sent this picture to Kerry to welcome her to Scotland.
And then I headed off. Forgetting my camera, like a dick.
The train journey was relatively boring. I sat and read the Buddha of Suburbia the whole way there with my headphones on, but no music playing. I managed to text Kerry saying “nearly at the station” which was the highlight of the journey. Then I got to said station and grabbed some food and let them know I was in town. I waited at the entrance to the car park in my hat with all my bags like the littlest hobo, peering into every dark blue car I saw go past. Apparently there are two entrances. We eventually tracked one another down and went in search of food while being cold and talking crap. This would be a recurring theme. Ended up in Wetherspoons where books were handed out and I was brought my peace offering from the McRenghi Clan. After we’d been fed and watered, we went to buy some booze. I bought cider ‘cos I couldn’t see any rum. Then Kerry pointed out the rum, but I couldn’t be arsed. The man behind the counter was very nice. He saw my LAHNDAHN tin and asked if I was from there. I wish, guy!
We staggered back to the car park with lots of bags and drove the gazillion miles back to the hotel. Poor Sawyer.
I discovered that it said “KI” on the doors to the hotel which made me happy. We walked past the various SCOTTISH LEGENDS!!!!1!!1!! rooms and to our one. It was very nice! The bed was huge. We put the beer in the bath and commenced with the funtimesss. It was here that Gracie revealed she’d never played Top Trumps before. So she was taught. And that hilarious game lasted forever. It culminated in me throwing cards at Sawyer and going “FINE! You win!”
Then we played the Rizla game but we had to make do with tiny post-its instead.
Grace needed a clue to help her guess her identity of the Elephant Man.
You are indeed that chap.
Youtube hates the video of Kerry’s legs being held hostage by Sawyer, but it’s very short, so I’ll try get it up someday.
Then 10pm rolled around and we watched the IT Crowd.
I remember taking this video. I didn’t realise how high Grace’s voice could go until Matt Berry’s name was on the opening credits. It is still very amusing.
We laughed, we enjoyed, we drank and the first half was over. We wrote lots in our book of shenanigans about it, it gives a better review of it than I ever could on here. I’ll get the pictures of the book up someday… but I probably won’t ‘cos that would require effort.
I decided to attempt to film our reactions to the second half so it’d be like we were at another recording of it, but the video cut out about two minutes in, right before Grace points out that Matt is being a great British pointer in the picture in the background.
Second half was killer too. I love Jen. I wasn’t sure I liked her in the first series ‘cos she was really loud, but she’s ace.
Apparently the excitement was too much for Sawyer who had been driving all day.
So we left him a note to tell him we’d gone to the bar in case he wanted to join us. And attached a post-it saying the same thing to his person.
Down at the bar, we were bemused by the quiet, the fact Kerry got ID’d and said, outraged, “I’m 28 next week!”. I think the barman didn’t approve of us with our being eccentric ways, but he was very sweet. And later took a photo of the English, Irish and Scottish in a bar. Either Grace or Kerry has that photo, so I’m gonna steal it whenever it’s made available to the public. And every other picture they took. Sawyer an’ all.
We went outside and this happened.
Then we went back inside and conversed about London. And travelcards. And how much we need to motivate each other to get our arses in gear and move there. And travelcards. It was very funny.
Then we went on an actual adventure.
After making sure we wouldn’t be locked out, we headed across the road from the place.
Then Kerry rolled down a hill and we feared for her life. We ended up at some cul-de-sac where we spotted a BOAT. An actual boat. Why? And a digger.
I wish these photos weren’t so dark.
We came across a school that had a stream nearby. Kerry threw a pen in and claimed it was her mother’s. It was Grace’s pen apparently. But we were thankful it wasn’t her camera as we’d first feared. “No no, it would have made a bigger splash if it was her camera…”
There was a playground round the back that we attempted to climb over, but it didn’t really work, so me and Grace sat and Kerry lay on the ground and we spoke of precious things.
We made our way home.
We got to the room and Kerry was sick. She decided she’d sleep in the bathroom with her coat and my blanket. Grace told me to sleep in the bed with Sawyer. Then later she joined us. Three in a bed and the little one said “roll over… roll over…”
By this point, Sawyer had had a rest and was wide awake. We spoke and played songs to each other and Grace fell asleep with Girls Aloud songs in her head. I was shocked that she managed ‘cos we weren’t even whispering by the end. But we had a lovely talk about life and his book and different people’s reactions to it. Then he decided that it was more fun to sleep and be unable to breathe properly at the wrong end of the bed.
“I don’t have a foot fetish!” came his muffled voice from under the duvet.
I fell asleep.
I woke up as Sawyer was going for a shower. I was glad to see Kerry was back in the room as I was worrying we’d find her dead on the bathroom floor. She jumped in the bed where he had been and we all tried not to freeze. Then she turned to us and asked, “Did we go to a playground last night?”
When Sawyer returned, I went for a shower too. ‘Twas most enjoyable. Then we watched Saturday morning kids tv while Grace and Kerry continued snoozin’. I can’t keep up with kids gameshows these days, whatever happened to 50/50 and Get Your Own Back?
Later on, when everyone was up, we made our way back to the cit-ay. We finally tracked down somewhere to get food. There was a bear there too! WOW! A BEAR! Again, Kerry has a photo of it I think. I’m really cursing my lack of photo-taking. Next time I’ll make sure I have an epic camera with me and it’ll force me into taking lots more.
I did take these though!
We made our way to the direction of Mono ‘cos I knew there was a tattoo place round about there. We went in only to find out that they weren’t doing any more that day. Grr… So off we slouched to Mono. Kerry went outside for a bit, we found a table and I went outside to ask if she wanted a drink. On my way out I was accosted by a man who spotted my Jack the Ripper badge and told me what a Ripper-nerd he was. Turns out he’s a horror writer (and it took all my strength to quote Marenghi at him) AND has Snuff Box on dvd and went to see Mark Gatiss in Glasgow the other day. Excellent. I went back inside, got some drinks and Jamie emerged. We spoke very briefly, but it was still lovely. He’s looking forward to the Brand in February which is good stuff. Either that or he’ll be sitting looking depressed with a party hat on.
Mug-win. Hot chocolate fail.
Aaah, things that are things that are fun.
Also:
At about 5pm, we headed off to the car. By the time we got there, I had ten minutes to catch my train so had to say a hurried sad goodbye in the car park while Sawyer worried about having left his window open (was anything nicked? I realised I forgot heat and the Metro, unless some cheeky bugger stole them!)
I ran to the station feeling a bit sad and jumped on the train I assumed was mine. It was full of football fans so I didn’t get my seat until Perth. Grr… It turned out it was the right train though, so that was alright.
The parents were in town having a meal so I met up with them to catch the bus home with ‘em. It had been snowing shitlots while I was away. When I woke up yesterday ’twas apparently four inches deep.
Work was freezing yesterday, but other than that, not too bad. I spoke to Iain about my pay and apparently I wasn’t over-paid, it was just money from overtime going in late, woohoo! More money than I thought I’d have for christmas. Now I feel less bad about going to Sheffield, Glasgow, Edinburgh and London in the next six weeks! I got a bus straight away which was good, then came on here and uploaded those pictures and wrote an epic speech on RB. Took a long time and that’s why this blog is happening today instead of last night.
I also discovered last night that a double bed had been erected-ah in my room while I’d been at work. It was odd sleeping in it for the first time. Especially as I was all at one side ‘cos it felt weird not having people sharing it! That makes me sound like a slag. I just mean I’m used to sharing with people in hotels and that. Yeah?
Hm… in other news, my copy of the Devil’s Chair finally arrived from Amerikee. Sadly, it won’t play on any of my players yet. I’ve yet to try it on the computer, but hopefully it’ll play there. I’ll try that after I get home tonight though. I’m actually looking forward to work today. What’s wrong with me? Sheffield tomorrow! I’m not gonna sleep tonight ‘cos I need to be up at ridiculous o’clock tomorrow, but then I’ll actually be able to sleep on the bus. I am so nervous I sleep for too long and end up in London though! I also hope I don’t get too lost… could be interesting! This is my busy week. Let the games commence.
It started pissing down with rain in about five seconds today. Strange weather. The soles of my favourite shoes are virtually non-existant these days and thus, my feet are soaking. Inane pre-amble: Check!
It’s been an odd week… I know I worked on Monday and went to the cinema at some point (I think Tuesday) but that feels like ages ago. Anyway, went to see Zack And Miri Make A Porno. I dunno what I was expecting, but it had Seth Rogen in it, so I wasn’t going to complain. But yes, crude and crass and all sorts, but somehow Seth gets away with it. You can’t complain about it if you go to see something with that title by choice!
Yesterday was what I’d describe as a lovely day! Got my new bed delivered (it’s gonna be constructed this weekend while I’m away. Avoiding DIY win.) by the Chuckle Brothers and then went to the garden centre with Laura to buy a something for a someone. At about 5.30, I headed into town to be at Waterstone’s by 7pm for the Mark Gatiss signing. I was ridiculously early, so scraped together some change to grab a rum in Slain’s while I waited. I sat there for about forty minutes and left for Waterstone’s at 6.55pm, in time to see a queue being led inside. I ran across the road and joined in. I bought two copies of ‘Black Butterfly’ and sat down. We were told there’d be a chat with Mark, hosted by a local radio dj, followed by a Q&A session, then Mark would do a signing. There weren’t many people there, which meant there was a relaxed atmosphere. Mark came on and we could barely hear him as he wasn’t miked up and the fridges from the coffee shop were buzzing. Occasionally, they’d shut up, he’d grin and give a “yay!” and then they’d start up again five minutes later. Eventually, they did get shut off fully and I was able to hear him say several times, “I’m so indiscreet!” and reveal that: he will feel like god if there’s dry ice and a pod at hand; he is going to bid at an auction for John Pertwee’s purple jacket that he desperately wants; he thought Rose and the Doctor being split up in series two of Dr Who was beautiful but didn’t care for the 10 minutes of crying afterwards; he seemed to be typecast as a transsexual after appearing in All About My Mother, which led to one of his friends introducing him as Britain’s Favourite Transvestite at some event; he was offered the chance to go on Strictly Come Dancing and his family resent the fact that he declined due to being a shit dancer; the first time he met Jonathan Pryce, Jonathan said to him “I’ve heard you’re a really nice guy, don’t fuck it up.”; his thoughts on the Brand/Ross thing and its effect on British comedy; he owns the script that Stephen Fry wrote for Dr Who and everyone gasped and asked what it was like. He said he’d auction it on ebay next year… along with John Pertwee’s purple jacket; he could die happy if he ever got to play Jacob Marley.
He also spoke briefly, after pushed into that direction, of his appearance in Spaced, “Ah, that was great fun. Back when the Matrix was still cool…”
Everyone laughed and this led him to talk about when the Weakest Link first started and he and Adam Buxton would email each other and end every correspondance with “You are the weakest link: Goodbye!”. He said that he was clearing out emails and came across these and cringed, “So naive!”
Apparently this will probably be the last Lucifer Box novel but he’s left plenty of gaps in it so that he could go back to it at any time. He also said that the League are still on a break for now, but will definitely do more together in the future. They’ve nothing planned at the moment though.
I can’t remember when it was, but he said something like, “Who knows? In years time, maybe the commissioner for the BBC will be someone who loved the League when they were 16 and go, ‘Why don’t we make that anymore?’”
This struck a chord. I’d like to be that person if I fail miserably at the actual writing thing.
That’s all I can really remember, just bits of things he said, but he was ever-so lovely and endearing. Definitely my favourite Gentleman of the League! After that, I went to get my book signed and one for my sister. I spoke to him and told him that the sister wants to call her child ‘Kitty Backlash’ to set her up for a lifetime of… I’m not sure what. He said this was cruel, but Kitty on its own was good. So he signed her book “To Morven, go for Kitty! Love Mark Gatiss x” and mine “To Kirstin [yes, I know, the unforgivable spelling... but I forgive him for he is looovely! Did I mention that already?] Love and boy scouts, Mark Gatiss x” (I didn’t understand what this meant, so presumed I’d have to read the book to find out. In the pub afterwards, I saw a chapter was called Scouting For Boys. I sense I’ll find answers here.)
He spotted my Ripper badge and said “Ah, a Jack the Ripper fan, eh?” and started rambling about an article he’d seen in the paper that day about there being new evidence from Broadmoor about one of the suspects. I told him I’d have to check it out. Interesting, cheers, Mr G!
I left and cursed the fact that I’d not forced him to come with and take part in the quiz, but I left for Slain’s.
After that, it was a pretty dull night. I was now truly skint after having spent the last of my money on the books, so didn’t really enjoy myself. Got paid today though. Good times. Overpaid I think, though, so essentially bad times. Hassle hassle. I’ll have to mention it to Iain on Sunday. Unfortunately I can’t before then, for I’ll be in Glasgow with my team. I am very excited. There will most definitely be an update after that adventure.
I went into town today, bought the Gatiss’ first two novels (was just going to buy the first and read Morven’s copy of the second, but the two-in-one was on our 3for2 offer) and two other books. Then I met up with Ryan, who is home and has had a freakin’ haircut. Strange! But nice! We went to Primark, then Slain’s where we had some food and a drink. Was lovely to catch up with him. I miss that boy and apparently he misses crappy stupid conversations. They just don’t make ‘em in Edinburgh like they do here, guy!
Anyway, yes, I’ve got an epic clear-out to be continuing with. And packing to do. And I was planning to have a bath and another shower (damn rain…) but that may have to wait until tomorrow morn.
Tomorrow will be a good day. We go forth: eat, drink and be merry. And take lots of photos and film clips… and watch the IT Crowd. Don’t miss it.
[WARNING!!! This blog is saying nothing different from usual. It's your own fault if you read it. Go read the first three entries I ever wrote and you've got the entire blog covered.]
Oh man, I gotsta move to London. Like, soon, please.
Struggling to see how it can be soon, like, soon, though.
Bloody costs… And I bring this on myself. I’ve got about £30 in the bank until the 20th November when about £250′ll go in (…hooray…)
This money will be spent on: being in Glasgow, being in Sheffield and Christmas shopping, so more than likely, it’ll be gone by the time I next get paid (another £250 due to sucky hours on the 20th December). I am predicting there’ll be money at Christmas, but again, I’m bringing it on myself by needing money to live on over new year in London. So I’m not in denial that I’ll need another job, but I think to avoid having to take shitloads of time off, I’m gonna start looking for one properly in January. Which again, puts a hold on me saving any money.
I just need out of here soon-ish. The cat girl only made me even more sure. New people, new sights, new excitement. Please.
We’ll figure out what to do when we get there.
Had a relatively nice weekend, oddly. Saturday, my actual cinema card came through. Sadly, the photo has been cropped a bit and so Fulcher is no longer visible on my tshirt like he is on my temporary card. Maybe I’ll give him my temporary card. That’d be an odd present…
Every new year starts in the same way for me. Even the times when there are subtle differences, it inevitably ends up starting (odd three words put together…) the same.
Picture the scene. It’s about 9pm. I walk down to Laura’s with a box of chocolates and bottles of wine. Here I sit, smiling and laughing with my friends. Inside, I’ll be thinking “Right, this is the time of year you decide that you really want to write for tv… Go on, announce it again, you boring fuck.” I never announce it. Unless it’s coming up to 2005 and I’ve only just realised it. Here I’ll stay, listening to music, having a chuckle and drinking more than is recommended. We’ll stay here until about 11pm. Then it’s the very short walk to the McGrory household. At this point, we’ll be joined by other people and either end up drinking in her kitchen whilst watching tv or playing Guitar Hero or something similar. We stay ’til the bells. Then I don’t remember what happens, but it usually ends in me starting to feel down. We’ll stay for a good few hours. This is where the pace changes. This is the part where anything could happen; from the craziness of walking to Rory’s to the sheer rebellion of stumbling to our primary school and dancing and smoking and drinking too much more. All in all, it culminates in me and Laura sighing and going on about how shit everything is and being… well… teenage, quite frankly.
On the 1st of January, every year without fail, I’ll wake up at about 3pm and want to roll over and die. This isn’t a hangover though, this is the realisation. The realisation is that for the past few years, nothing has changed. As much as I would like it to.
Now, Obama has been elected, this signifies change, no?
This year, good people, we go to London.
This I am very excited for. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love and adore my friends more than anything in life, it’s not them I’m trying to escape from. It’s the location. And the scenario. I just want to not be able to predict what’s going to happen. It’s a small luxury.
For some reason, I’ve got it into my head that 2009 is going to be my definitive year. I can’t remember anything too big about 2005… I went to that gig at the aircraft hangar and consequently met some amazing people on the back of it, but that was at the end of the year. That sort of set up the next 12 months. 2006 was my best year to date. I just experienced so much that most people don’t get the chance to and was ever-so grateful for it. 2007 was sort of a low point. It was just dull, nothing too traumatic happened. I mean, good things did happen, like meeting the Berry and discovering RBF and the amazing creatures that lurk there, but as for doing things… it was pretty boring. 2008, however unbelievably good it has been, hasn’t felt AMAZING. It feels like things could get amazing though. 2008 is just the warm-up. 2009 is the year I’d ideally like to move to London. If I work at it hard enough, I can do it. At the start of every year, to tackle the hideous depression, I tell myself that things will be different next year. This time, I see nothing holding me back. I’m not tied down by education, my parents are very supportive and I’m being realistic with plans. Also I have other people with similar goals which helps. They don’t know how much it helps, but by god it does. I’m not alone!
I don’t even know why I’m writing this just now. It’s only mid-November. OH! It’s ‘cos I booked my bus to London. And I’m doing it the better way this time. Grace has a Travelodge booked for the 30th December and another one for the 1st January. So, I’m leaving here at early o’clock in the AM on the 30th to arrive in London all sleepy that night. But I’ll be able to sleep it off and be in fantastic spirits for the whole day of the 31st, then a fun night of doing… god knows what, but I love that. I’m already sticking to my “as long as I can’t predict exactly how my night goes” (is it possible that being in England, I’ll actually miss Jackie Bird and watching what’s going on in Edinburgh? Pfft, get a grip, guy!) thing, so it’s already more interesting than every other year. Then I’ve got a whole day in London (when it’s probably all shut, I’m not sure…) on the 1st January, then leave on the 2nd. Exciting. Spiritual home at the chaotic start of the year. Nice experience.
This blog is shite. It could be summed up by this sentence,
“Usually, New Year is nice, but the same; this year, we’re going to have fun and get 2009 (the year all the dreams come true apparently…) off to a good start. Byeeee!”
I don’t know if I’ll post this. It’s grossly self-indulgent.
(OH! I got the last ticket to see David O’Doherty in Edinburgh in December! This pleased me too much.
OH! I also paid £3 for a ticket to “meet” Mark Gatiss. To be honest with you, I won’t know what to say, but it’s on Wednesday, so I’d better think of something. I’ll buy his new book. I’ll need to read more of his stuff. Before Wednesday? Maybe I’ll put The Buddha of Suburbia on hold even though I do adore it. Also bought Joe Dunthorne’s ‘Submarine’ with the special £10 card lovely Waterstone’s are giving out to all us bookslaves this christmas. Thank you, Waterstone’s, you lovely employer.)
See? Grossly self-indulgent.
So yesterday I went to see W.
It was hella long, but I guess it needed to be. It was very good and very… I’d like to say “real” at this point because it seemed so, but then again, I’ve never been “behind the scenes” at the White House… or anywhere near the White House at all. I presume it’s fairly accurate though. It left me thinking too much about the state of the world. Everyone else who was in seeing it seemed to be on their own and looked deep in concentration when they came out too. I think my sister summed it up best when she went to see it, though, “If Obama hadn’t won, I’d be inconsolable by now…”
Amen, sister.
The quiz went shockingly last night. The first round seemed to go amazingly, but it was all downhill for the Future Sailors after that. I felt like crap and wasn’t really up for it afterwards, so we went home earlier than usual and got a lovely cab driver who put up with Laura, Stuart and Amber’s drunken talk of dwarves and apples while me and Emma sat looking… concerned.
Today’s been another slow day. I really think I should stop updating this when I’ve done fuck all. It’s not fair on you and it makes me feel even more pathetic than normal. I felt the urge to make a video yesterday, but got distracted by the crappy editing you can do on my phone, so came up with this:
Every person I showed it to said the same thing, “That’s scary…”
They started airing the new, very short trailers for the IT Crowd returning today. I caught it and smiled. It starts on the 21st November at 10pm. This means at 10pm, me, Gracie, Kerry and Sawyer will be in a hotel with some booze (probably) watching. What better environment to do so in?
There’s nothing more to say. I’m gonna go tidy. Maybe watch that Rich Kid Poor Kid thing. I do try to get my daily dose of sensationalist drivel.
I’ve realised I have a disease. I just need to name it.
It dawned on me whilst talking to Grace on msn. I was listening to Gary Numan and found myself singing “Ga-ry Nu-man, Ga-ry Nu-man, Ga-ry Ga-ry Nu-man Nu-man” during the synth breaks in Are “Friends” Electric? for no apparent reason. Then I realised that I do it, and I don’t think I’m alone here, when Loose Women is on. I can’t find a clip of the titles online but “Da da da da da da da da, LOOSE WO-MEN!”
I do this with a lot of tv shows… I remember doing it with Father Ted when I was little. God bless you, Divine Comedy! Shows like that with longer theme tunes allow you to get a little bit more creative. My favourite one to do, subconciously, was Parkinson. Simple, yet effective.
“Here comes Par-kin-son, here comes Par-kin-son, here comes Par-kin-son, here comes Par-kin-son, who is on the show? Well we’re about to know, here comes Michael right now!”
All the kids’ll be doing it tomorrow…
Maybe that’s why I like this so much… (Thanks Graham!)
Right, moving on! I had such a dull weekend, it’s unreal. I’d said I’d go out with the parents to visit my ol’ Granny with them on Friday night/Saturday morning. But I cancelled because Jill asked if I wanted to have lunch with her on Saturday ‘cos she was home. On Friday night, Emma turned up as her mother had kicked her out and then Baz did, so we had a chinese, drank wine, played Monopoly and watched Flight of the Conchords. Was nice.
I woke up startlingly early on Saturday and drummed my fingers on desks until 12. I figured I hadn’t heard from Jill and we’d probably go out for lunch at maybe 1-2pm, so gave her a text to ask what was happening. A few hours passed and I’d not heard anything until she texted back to say that ‘cos she’d not heard from me she’d gone into town and to the cinema. Oh. I didn’t want to be bitter about cancelling my weekend for her or anything, but did wonder that if she really wanted to see me and hadn’t heard from me, why didn’t she get in touch? I mean… that’s what I did.
I just sighed and got on with life.
Laura put it nicely yesterday though, “I mean, I know she’s only home at weekends, but… I’ve not seen her since September. We’re supposed to be her girls…”
I’ve never felt more like a member of Destiny’s Child.
All that it’s prompting me to do is not go out of my way to do anything in future. If I’ve got plans, I go ahead with them. New year could be interesting…
Speaking of which, I’m delighted that the mother seems to be actively encouraging me to go to London for new year. She didn’t seem keen at first, but something’s obviously changed her mind. I think I might be able to go for it, which is terribly exciting. She said to me on the way to work yesterday “Did you check out buses for new year?”
I hadn’t, but I did last night. Again, it’ll take about £40 for me to get there and back. I’d probably leave on the morning of Tuesday 30th, get there that night, then come home on the morning of Friday 2nd and get home that night. This could be messy, but if it goes ahead, I can’t fucking wait. At last, a year where on new year’s day I won’t wake up and feel really depressed and hate myself for no real reason!
We’ll see…
Oh, another thing I did on my dull Saturday was watch the entire “series” of “Living With Ricky Gervais” purely ‘cos I do like the lovely Robin Ince, he’s ever-so-funny. I’ll post ‘em all here (the whole thing is in six parts, but they’re all just about 3 minutes long) so you can have a watch, then tell me if it reminds you of any friendships you have… It sure as hell looks familiar to me.
That bit with Ricky poking Robin in the face and Robin not reacting at all was particularly familiar. Odd times.
So, yesterday was strange. I got to work to be told that Pete was ill and it was just gonna be me and Scott… and Saturday had been insanely busy AND we had lots to do. Yippee, hooray! After a few phonecalls, Flora and Tracy turned up to help at 10.30am, so it wasn’t too bad. At 12, Scott went for his lunch and told me I was in charge. Oh, the power!
All in all, a relatively enjoyable day. Hella busy for a Sunday, but still a nice day. Went round to Baz’s briefly afterwards to borrow Casino Royale and arrange going to the cinema today. I can’t remember if I updated saying I’d seen Quantum of Solace, but I did. And I left feeling dirty that I was finding Daniel Craig attractive. So, I re-watched Casino Royale last night and it did me no favours.
Oh fuck…
But anyway, yes, thoroughly enjoyed Quantum of Solace, but thought it was lacking one thing: why did none of the villains have odd face defects? I mean, the last one cried freakin’ blood! Win!
So, yeah, Laura and Amber and me (maybe Keri too, but she might be working) are gonna go see it tonight. Laura and Amber haven’t seen it yet, so that’ll be nice. I’ve got 5-8pm at work before that though. Funtimes though. I like my Monday nights. And the shop feels really Christmassy now, it’s nice. But it’s so full of crappy presents and stuff that all my short-cuts have been obstructed. Damn kids.
Right, I’d best be off. I’ve to post my cinema card (I’ve still not received my actual one yet and am currently stuck with the temporary one) through Baz’s letterbox so she can go buy our tickets later. Good times. Time for a cheeky mojito before Bond? Here’s hoping.
