Hilarity, contempt for mankind, nostalgia, more hilarity…

Doors for the Ince opened at 9pm. I didn’t fancy waiting in the pissing rain for a bus for much longer than necessary, so I hitched a lift into town too early and sat in Slains with a book and a rum instead. At about 8.50pm I figured I should leave but would still probably be too early, so planned to check when the last bus was. I glanced down at the Lemon Tree and saw there was already a huge queue and it was moving, so I abandoned the bus-timetable schedule and joined the crowd. When in, I bought myself a drink and found a seat in the third row right by the window and took in the pre-show playlist. My favourite Jeffrey Lewis song was played so I was happy enough to just sit back and listen.

The man came onstage at about 9.30pm, apparently he was supposed to have a support act but no. He immediately told us that he was in a weird mood and felt he was going insane. This was to be a recurring theme. I can’t remember many specific things, but he was hilarious. And I do recall Leviticus being mentioned. I’m glad more people are being made aware of the entertaining part of the bible that offers up such pearls of wisdom as:
A person who has a dreaded skin disease must wear torn clothes, leave his hair uncombed, cover the lower part of his face and call out, “Unclean! Unclean!” Leviticus 13:45
There was also a reference to the film Network that I was appreciative of. Ah, what else? I thought it was very sweet that he kept talking about his baby. And when he said “I just wanna be at home with the baby!” my innards grinned. Someone shouted something out and he wanted to write it in his “Stuff that’s happened on tour…” notebook but couldn’t find a pen. I laughed at the time, but now can’t remember for the life of me what was shouted out… He told us of how he hates being out on Friday nights because you get assholes in cars shouting at you. Ah, how things come true after you hear them…

 

The gig ended at about 11.20pm, so I thought I’d better run out and catch the last bus. I got to the stop and realised I’d missed it and the late night bus wasn’t due for another 55 minutes. And I’d no change.

Walking up Union Street to get change from a local eaterie, I witnessed a scene reminiscent of that advert advising safe sex where the girls are all wearing underpants with ‘gonorrhea’ and ‘chlamydia’ on them. Ah, young love… in public… against the wall of Zavvi. Sweet…
I continued walking and heard garbled insults being shouted out of various vehicles. All I could make out was “prostitute”. I think this may have been directed at me, but I’m not sure why if it was. I was wearing a hat, a scarf, lots of layers and jeans with a shoulder bag on. I really must get down to the harbour next time I’m near Market Street. I want to check out these ladies of the night’s attire.
Coming up to Bridge Street, I struggled through a throng of people. One man had obviously found some pornography on the road and held it up triumphantly to show his friends. One of them made a grab for it whilst shouting, “Let’s see us a look of those TITTIES!” I can’t help but feel his observational skills were not up to much as it was Friday night in the centre of Aberdeen. I could count at least four girls standing beside him who were a stumble away from their clothing slipping and revealing real live “titties”… in the flesh. Oh darling, I’d take it, this is as good as it gets for you…
I finally bought some food, got some change and sat at the bus stop for about 20 minutes. There was a woman in front of me. She was a nicer person than I, for she was not resenting the existence of the majority of people that passed us. The guys at Espionage putting the railings out were unnecessarily loud and obviously by this point everything was pissing me off. And the bus was late. But it did arrive. And I sat listening to music on it, living in my head, trying to think of 25 facts about myself. I was interrupted by Jonny who had apparently had a dull night so decided to go home early. The bus did get us home awfully quickly and he walked me to my house then headed back to his. This time he didn’t come in and we didn’t drink too much rum and discuss music. I was far too tired.
 
I eventually got inside, went upstairs and watched my Robin Ince dvd that had arrived in the morning. All ill-feeling of the majority of people I encountered earlier left me. I’m in awe of him, he has so many complaints and so much to moan about yet still sees the good in people. I felt nostalgic, then continued enjoying his ramblings. I was glad to learn that he too spends days pretending to be Morrissey. I don’t think he expects anyone else to do that, but me and Baz happily walked around Edinburgh last February turning our conversations into Morrissey sing-talking and have since become rather good at it.

I’m now very tired. I had the strangest dream which involved the AECC, escaping the AECC, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe and a huge old school/work night out. Too much happened to write down and it won’t make any sense, but it was all a bit Tomb Raider as well. What’s wrong with me?

My Stephen Fry In America dvd arrived today. I’m going to watch either it, some Stewart Lee or Louis Theroux. Maybe all three.

Review? Call that a review? No, but it is 998 words.
THIS is my 1000th.

No, wait, come back! I’m sorry!

Apologies for the shitty non-update yesterday. Usually I’d just leave it and close the window, but for some reason I posted…

Yeah, so… alright week. They’re turning monotonous but hey ho, doesn’t everything for a while?
Wednesday was strange. Everyone who usually comes out seemed to have other plans, so me, Rory and John decided to go to the quiz. But we got there too late and it was packed, so we had a drink downstairs, remembered Keri was working at the Mains so got on a bus back where we’d come from and went there instead. A wasted journey into town, I feel, but I had a ticket so it was only time I spent. Anyway, we had a lot of fun together. Good to see them after so long of not doing so. I was told they missed me so instead of drinking too much, we decided we’d “do brunch” at John’s the next day.

So we did that yesterday. Basically an entire afternoon of watching (Rhys Darby’s dvd and) Frasier with good company. All in all, a good day.

Today I was awoken by the post. It was all parcels. Including:

Yas min.

So, I headed into town with the mother. Ended up lunching at Slains and started to feel a bit like aids (took some drugs, all better now) and went to hand in some CVs at crappily named employment agencies. Big sigh.

Tonight I go see Robin Ince. Very much looking forward to it although annoyed that it falls on the same day as Charlie Brooker’s new channel 4 show ‘You Have Been Watching’ filming and my friend Jane’s band being in town for the first time. Check them out anyway: www.myspace.com/peterparkerglasgow 
And if by any chance anyone in Aberdeen reads this, they’re playing tonight (30th January) at Drummonds. Go. Go. Go. Do it. Go now. Go quickly.

I’m off to get ready for a night of amusing atheist ramblings. May god have mercy on my soul…

Recession, eh?

I think my most used phrase of 2009 is already “Damn credit crunch…” occasionally with a fist-shake for effect.

I’ve had an enjoyable past few days. Oh wow, I felt the urge to do a blog about 10 minutes ago, I went away from the computer for two minutes and now I can’t be bothered. Oh well, next time. See ye.

Keep feeling fascination

Today’s been sort of productive, but at the same time not very. I’ve been looking for jobs all day but to no avail. Damn credit crunch. If I can’t find anything up here, I’m feeling pretty sceptical about the available jobs in London. But, realistically speaking, I’ll be able to move there when this whole financial fuck-up is over. I can wait… well… I can pretend to be patient, it’s the only thing I can do.

Not really been up to much, but it’s not been long since my last blog. Me, Laura, Keri and Amber went for food and then to see Seven Pounds last night. Me and Amber had figured out what was going to happen quite soon into it but it was still an okay film.

OH! Actually, yeah, me and Keri went to the football on Saturday. It was so dull. I woulda rather stayed at home and not watched it on tv. £16 to stand in the cold, get showered in man-spittle and to listen to some, admittedly genius, football chants. I did teach Keri Adam and Joe’s song though. She’s never heard it, but it was stuck in her head. A good sign, I feel.

Hmm… what else? Oh, a message from Steve earlier made me embarrassed that I’d forgotten him off my epic 2008 post. He’s too awesome though. Will message back when I’ve got something more interesting to say than “ARGH! Not good, need job, can’t get job!”

Ah, life, eh?

Have some visual joy…

This door is always open, this door is always open, no-one has the guts to shut us out. But if we have to go now, I guess there’s always hope that some place will be serving after hours

Holy blog-entry-name!
Alriyet?

Had a busy week. Well, it’s felt busy but I’m not sure if it actually was or not… I woke up hella late on Tuesday due to not sleeping much over the weekend (worth it though.) and my mother turned up and had a go at me. I don’t remember much else. I know I did something though. Annoying… OH! I went into town and helped my cousin buy goods.

I returned into town on Wednesday and sent granny a present and met Keri on the bus home. She asked me if I wanted to go to the football on Saturday. The offer was too hilarious to decline. What are we doing? I don’t do football… This will be me:

(ARGH! Embedding disabled, go here: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FBkTSCLrMIA)
When I go see Aberdeen, I wish I’d brought a magazine.
But yeah, I missed my stop ‘cos I was distracted by the delight that is Keri, so had to walk further to TK Maxx. It wasn’t worth it. Although I did get a rather nice Ben Sherman blazer. I’ve missed wearing blazers. I went in past the mother’s work and then went home.
At night time, it being Wednesday, we went to the quiz. Regular readers (…) will know that we’re usually Future Sailors. We decided we were gonna be called Future Inhalers (For One Week Only). Then we remembered that Laura has a cold sore and it may have resulted from Fielding the Senior kissing her head on Saturday, so we changed to Noel Fielding Gave Me Herpes at the last minute.
We didn’t do so brilliantly. Again. But it was fun. And Aneeka wrote “Noel gave me love” on my arm. Lies. I wrote “Fulch gave me cat aids” also lies, but it made me laugh at the time. We then headed to the Old School House where our associate wasn’t there. Sad times. They closed early again which was poor form, but we went to Sin instead. Never been before. Was good though. Then to Exo where we stayed ’til closing. At one point, I was at the bar and some guy next to me grabbed my Fulch arm, read it and laughed and then looked shocked and said “Is it a tattoo?”
Fool.
We got talking and he asked if we’d been at the Slain’s quiz and said he’d been for the first time that night but failed. Then it turned out he was at the Boosh on Friday or Saturday as well. Good times. Nice to bond.
So yes, at 2am, we headed to get some food before hitting the casino. We got there and Stuart was told he couldn’t go in ‘cos he was too drunk. Strange. We all were allowed and I’m now the member of a casino which amuses me no end. Especially ‘cos as we went in, we realised we’d no idea what to do or where to go, so Keri played the roulette machines and the majority of us stayed at the bar for two hours. Fail. But at least I spent no money! Keri won a fiver. She was proud. I was proud. She’d managed to figure out the machines. Good times. We’ll go back someday when we’re in a better frame of mind. So, yes, taxi home then sleepytimes.

The next day, I woke up late again but saw that my Robots stuff had arrived. The necklace is lovely!
Look! (Please ignore the patented “pretend to look at something on my left so I don’t have to awkwardly look at the camera” thing and also the drunk hair.)

I spent most of the day lazing around, but there were more postal treats in store. My dad came in the door and it turns out two packages for me had been delivered to our next door neighbour.
An old Boosh program and a reprint of issue #1 of Jeffrey Lewis’ comic. They arrived quick. I like that. 

Now I’ve written it all down, I’ve no idea why this week has felt so busy… I’ve not got much planned for a while. Have a free house for a few hours tonight so am gonna order in some Chinese and eagerly watch Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. Stephen Fry! Franz! Yay!
Tom Cruise… Lee Evans… Ugh…
Oh, and LifeSpam on bbc3. It looks promising. And I do love Alice Lowe.
Then the (ball ball ball, footie footie footie, ball ball ball) football tomorrow. Oh dear. I’ll document that one! Then to Laura’s for a gathering at night. Good. Yes. This is all good stuff.

Round Five: Boys, Boys, Crazy Boys [The Final Round]

Well that was an epic few months! Nice climax too. HA! Climax.

Where did I finish the last blog? ‘Twas written on Saturday morning, so before the madness. I forgot to mention that we watched Festival on Friday night. I’d never noticed Chris O’Dowd’s testicles before…

Saturday was a strange one. I was up relatively early. Me and Grace listened to various interviews with lovely people and headed into town at about 3pm. On the bus we pondered many things. One such thing being what hotel the Boosh would be staying at. We chuckled at the thought of walking past Carmelite and seeing them at the reception trying to get a hairdryer. Oh, how close we were. We had to go to the market ‘cos I promised my mother I’d put her shoes in to get re-heeled. So, this meant going past Carmelite. We glanced in the window and who was at reception? Only Dave bloody Brown. We walked past again to confirm it was actually him and not just a look-a-like and it definitely was. We giggled and went to Books and Beans to use the interwebs and get Grace’s boarding pass printed out seeing as I am printerless. Then we had to go to the station to check out bus times for Grace going to the airport which again meant walking past the hotel. This time, we saw the bus was parked outside and got a bit excited, but didn’t want to hang around so continued to the bus station. After we’d checked out bus times, we made our way back up. We decided we’d perv on the tour bus a bit, but from a distance. We eventually got cold and bored and decided to go catch a normal bus to go home. As we were walking up the street the hotel was on, we saw Mike come out of the hotel and head towards the bus with a suitcase. He was round on the side of the bus that was on the road as opposed to the pavement side that we were on. Grace asked if we should get a camera and ask for a photo. I reluctantly agreed. She looked for her camera and I looked at my phone. When I looked up, Mike was about 4 metres away from us on the pavement and I went “shit!”. He went back round the other side and we kept walking up the pavement, Grace searching for her camera. She found it, but Mike had gone into the bus at this point. It was then that Grace’s phone went off. Normal enough occurence. But her ringtone happened to be Bainbridge and Fossil’s rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart, so hurriedly panicked to shut the phone up. While this was going on, I glanced across the road, forgetting we were opposite the hotel still and saw Dave, Rich, Julian, Noel, Danny, Ollie, handsome Pete and various other crew members in the lobby, lounging around getting ready to leave. Grace managed to talk me into the idea of speaking to them when they would eventually emerge. I didn’t like the thought of this primarily because we were in such an odd situation of accidentally being outside their hotel and I presumed they would think we’d been waiting there all day and were stalking them. But yeah, I just wasn’t too comfortable with it. If it had been in the middle of town and we’d just bumped into them, fair enough, but it just so happened to be outside the place they were staying. The last few sentences are a ramble and repetitive. I’m not going to bother reading back, onwards to the future: Anyway, they came out and we started to cross the road towards them, but just as we were about to approach with an awkward and shy greeting, about six kids came out of nowhere and noticed them, “Oh my god, it’s the Boosh!” So we slunked off into a corner in an attempt to distance ourselves from them. The Boosh got in the van and we continued on the journey we’d started to catch a bus home.

We stopped in by Asda on the way and bought some food and some booze. Then we hurriedly tried to eat and got picked up by Laura at about 7pm. Boosh time. We told her our story and headed to the Exhibition Centre. We found our seats and discovered that Shane was sitting right in front of us. Funny. Anyway, as per usual, Fleetwood Mac’s ’Tusk’ played right before the boys took to the stage and again, I got that nervous/excited feeling in my stomach. Fulch put a lot of effort into his final introduction, telling us to welcome the “Mighty Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh”. I think he popped a lung. Future Sailors as we have grown used to and love. Everything else that followed was lovely. The dandruff dance was missed from Bobby Bob Bob’s Dance Academy and the Sandwich Grab returned. There was an addition in that he asked for someone to come up onstage and dance with him. Funtimes. 
Uh… My mind’s gone blank. Shite. Things of note…
-Dave’s ad-libbing when talking about going on Dragon’s Den was hilarious. Especially as he went right up into Noel’s face and acted out what he’d do if he was on the show. Noel was pissing himself laughing.
-When Tony Harrison was on, a guy right behind me shouted “you sexy bastard!” which prompted the H-Man to slate him. I laughed. The guy behind me’s friends laughed. Everyone else laughed.
-Crack Fox mentioning that life was tough and now he was stuck in a bin with a bloke behind him (cue bin-mover poking his head out from behind the bin and waving)
-The Hitcher didn’t come past us this time. I think Shane was relieved.

During the interval I went to get a drink, then tracked down lovely Jill T! We told her our tales and figured out how to get things to the boys with her and her friends (one of whom was Grace’s robot twin.)
We were still standing talking to them when the lights went down and everyone ran to their seats. Julian was onstage wearing a dressing gown. I attempted to make him react by doing a spazzed-out wave at him but he just stared at me with hatred… maybe not, but he only gave a “who is this square?” look. We found our seats. On with the show:
-It turned out someone from the night before had stolen Julian’s jacket that he usually wears at this point. Noel pointed out that the thief had walked past all of his (Fielding’s) clothes and not nicked anything, so they were clearly looking for a blind man.
-During the news reports, Fulch and Mike had to keep mumbling awkwardly as Fielding didn’t turn up on time. When he did get on stage, he had to stop himself from laughing.
-Dave went all out in his final fall of the tour. He wheeled the globe offstage, did the fall, then proceeded to cause chaos by miming throwing it against walls and stuff. Julian looked bemused.
-Rich and Noel’s cockneys were extra special. Rich started singing Step In Time and Noel went for A Spoonful of Sugar.
-Nanageddon, followed by I Did A Shit. Then Noel said to Julian, “I’ve just got to go get something, you hold the fort…” which prompted him to do his jazz version of I Did A Shit. The scatting was particularly enjoyable. 
-Noel came out dressed as Old Gregg and announced he was “Howard’s last night surprise…” and they played his theme tune. He got mangina and he live in the sea. Ollie Ralfe started filming all the additional stuff. I hope they make it onto the dvd.
-Everyone was on their feet for Charlie and the boys seemed proper elated. They introduced everyone onstage (and Danny) and had a curtain call. Then it was time to go.

So, we went to the lavatory and went outside. We went straight to the car, deciding to wait there for the guys to come out. It was warm, I enjoyed it. We heard a bit of commotion, so got out to have a proper look. All the while, singing Bobby Bob Bob’s “Boys, boys, crazy boys…” song. To-night. TOOOONIGHT!:

We stood there for a bit, but then went back to the car where we reversed and went forward and reversed and went forward.  Easily amused. Nice. Then we heard screaming, so went back out again and joined the end of the queue. The best place to be when meeting lovely people. Dave came out first and I took a photo of him and Laura, she returned the favour and Grace took one herself. I said something along the lines of “Oooh, you don’t need us!” and Dave told her he was lovin’ her style.


Hair fail, Innes! But in my defence, it was fucking windy!

He continued up the line and we thanked him and he was just genuinely lovely.
Then Captain Cardigan made his debut…


When he was right in front of us, Grace said “Julian, can we get a picture?”
He said “Yeah, sure, snap away.” which prompted us to look confused and just kind of go shrug at each other but he was still making his way up the queue.

He went by again later and he was in his own little world. I said “Julian, can we get a photo with you?” To which he didn’t reply. I threw in a “WITH you, prick…” but still no response. Sad times! 
I saw Fulch coming up and I got excited. That man is magnificent. I took a photo of him with Laura. He did about five different poses in the freezing cold before settling for:

He signed stuff for the people next to us while saying “Nobody says DUDE!”
I wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. Plus, I still had a pocket cup to give him.  This is essentially the whole conversation: 
 ”Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich.”
“Yeah?”
“I met you a few months ago at Snuff Box so–”
“Oh my god, yeah! Hey!”
“Can I get another picture?”
“Sure!”
(as it was being taken, he did the thing I’m getting accustomed to, talking. You’re supposed to hold still.)
“Have you tried to message me recently, ‘cos I’ve been pretty bad with myspace and stuff the last few months…”
“Uh… no, I presumed it wasn’t you running things at the moment. Oh, I got you a present. It’s a pocket cup.”
“Oh wow, thank you!”
“Yeah, oh, also… -Some crap I don’t remember about my cinema card with the picture of me with the Fossil top on- It’s yours now.”
“Ha, thanks! But yeah, email me again.”
I can’t remember how I ended the conversation, so I presume that I was rude and got distracted, although Grace says otherwise. Grace also says other nice things that I hope are true.

Face fail, Innes. But hair win, Fulch.

Grace asked him for a photo, he got confused but they got there in the end…

He looks like Kyle from the View. I think it’s just the hair though. He needs a fringe more.

He was quickly followed by Fielding the Elder who was being ushered quickly past people by Danny. I went to take a photo of him and Laura but his hat started to fall off due to crappy wind.

He kissed Laura on the head while I waited for the camera to load again to take a photo. I just missed though…

This was the part where he grabbed Grace, turned her round, kissed her on the cheek and thanked her for coming. As soon as he did, he was gone and she exclaimed “…I didn’t ask for that.” I hope that was caught on camera. She looked mildly disgusted, it was gold.

Fielding had buggered off by this time

but Rich was still signing stuff for people…

In the end he had to be escorted from the premises…

Mike came running past, high-fiving everyone. I didn’t even notice him ’til he grabbed my glove. A lame effort Fielding the Younger…

but kudos on your footwear…

So, we left on a high, but had lost Jill T. Sad times. We waved at the bus in the nerdiest possible way. And spazzed all the way home.

Then me and Grace watched the series 1-3 box set extras ‘cos I’ve not seen them. I got to bed at about 3am and was up at 8. Hellish. I felt like death. I got into work and Iain asked if I wanted the good news or the bad news.
“There is no good news, is there?”
“No, no good news.”
“There never is. What’s the bad news then?”
“Pete’s phoned in sick.”

So, it was basically me and him for the whole day except between 12 and 2 where Jenny came in to help. Bless ‘er. On the plus side, I got a lunch break with Gracie. On the down side, I didn’t get an afternoon break. Apparently this means I’ll get out earlier next week or something. Win.
But yeah, we both felt like shit, but luckily it was quite quiet so we got a lot done.
My mother picked me up ‘cos Grace had reported that I was feeling like balls
and she was in town to pick up my dad anyway. He’d been in the pub with my cousin to celebrate Aberdeen beating Celtic 4-2. I still refuse to believe this actually happened, but oh my, what hilarity.

We all had tea round the table. Unusual, but nice. Then Baz picked us and Keri up to go to the cinema. We ended up seeing Slumdog Millionaire. It was pretty good. Not the feel-good film of the year though…
We returned home and attempted to watch Lucky Break but didn’t really pay attention to it.
Instead I did a “camera rape” apparently. It’s my new favourite game. And I get to do the same pose each time.


I did another one at the bus station today but it’s not on the computer yet. Effort. And I’m only just motivated to finish this blog. I’ve been writing it for ages. Fail.

Right, yeah, so we went to bed at about 3am and again were up at ridiculous o’clock and caught a bus at 8am to get Grace to the bus station to get to the airport. Phew! It was sadtimes parting, but we must do something in February.

Right, that’s all for now. Better get ready for work soon. So sleepy. I feel a blog this length should have a conclusion other than “Peace and fucking, believe!” so… uh… Boosh tour was good. The best gig was Friday’s, I reckon, but the finale was perfect. I’m glad to have seen it so many times and on both opening and closing nights. It changed a lot. Fun though. This paragraph is balls. I’m not gonna proof-read this blog. I’m off to grapple with a bear.

Round Four: Think of Jazz… Richard and Judy… Matt Berry…

Right, just a quick one today, but an entry nonetheless.

Wednesday: The usual, but with a twist. Ryan accompanied us and everyone headed to Exodus except me and him who went to Korova. Before that, we went to Slains and the Old School House as per. At OSH, I found out that our barman is a Boosh fan and Laura found out that beef isn’t horse-meat (WHAT?!)

Thursday, nuffink happened. Friday. Yesterday. Goooood!

Woke up early, made up my bed for Grace and went off to meet her at the station. Was very nice. We managed to kill a few hours by eating in Slains and looking for Batman capes. To no avail. We got back to mine and did the mini-tour, then listened to records until about 5 when we ordered food. An enjoyable eve but I had to abandon her at 7 to go to the Boosh for the fourth time. What a little square. They were on fine form and seemed to be loving it. There was a new dance move involving getting rid of your dandruff, Barratt claimed Wednesday was bumming day, future asthma, future inhaler, Mike’s strange mic. OH! And Booblay trying to get rid of his erection, “Think of jazz… Richard and Judy… Matt Berry…”
And Mutant Mike with his weird voice, “Why are we disgusting… like Matt Berry?”
Poor boyo.

I can’t wait for tonight though. Last night of the tour. I hope it gets messy. I’m gonna talk to Fulch again if it kills me. That man is made of win.

Nobody puts Aberdeen in the corner. (That’s a film quote.)

Universal Truths and Cycles

The following was written at Slain’s Castle, the unofficial HQ of Excess 2008.
I had this pretty epic post all typed out and ready to go. But that was back at the end of 2008. Literally SO last year. Back just before my computer bailed on me. (Long story short: just after Christmas the computer effed up, then it died completely at the ‘puter hospital while I was in LANDAN at New Year. We got it back about 10 days later, a new old processor with all our crap on it only to find that the monitor didn’t work with it, so we used our old HUGE monitor and it worked. Then we couldn’t get internet for a bit, but now we finally have it. Done.)
So, I basically had this ramble about how, as it was happening, 2008 seemed “yeah, alright, I guess…” but upon reflection, it was probably my best year so far. I look at 2006 through a rose-tinted haze due to the friends I made and the experiences I gained through them.
Thus, more briefly than originally planned, I’m gonna summarise 2008. Usually I’d furnish it with events that occurred, but I’d not be right in the head if I just mentioned things and not the numerous amazing people I encountered on my little adventure of ‘08. For those who are perhaps curious, the highlights of my year were probably all the painful Megabus journeys I made and the magic that often ensued. Particularly three: June 16th – the Snuff Box dvd launch; October 10th – seeing the IT Crowd being filmed; November 25th – seeing Jarvis live in Sheffield. But again, these events are not just fantastic on their own, but because of the company I kept. Here we go then… chronologically…

My Aberdeen Hombrés: 2008 was significant in that I left school and while everyone I know has continued down that merry path to further education, I’ve flipped it the bird and am stumbling down the cobbles of the unknown. It’s overgrown, chaotic and sometimes depressing. But ultimately I love it and don’t regret it. None of you guys read this bloggy-wog, so I’m gonna keep it brief, but I want to thank you for giving me an insanely fun final year of school. Yes, perhaps we should have been preparing for the future or perfecting our “homework” and not playing Funnybones snap while eating rosey apples and drinking Irn-Bru, but we’re not squares. To those who turned up still wasted from the party (uh… bbq) last night to endure the final day of sitting in a daze especially. Never forget where you’re coming from.

Mother, Father, Morven: Fuck, this is turning into an acceptance speech. Anyway, I’ll keep it short. Mother and Father suddenly developed nonchelant attitudes which allowed me the chance to go to London in June and travel to random places since then. That week of “if you can find a way of getting there for cheap and find a place to stay that doesn’t cost much cash-dollar, go for it” was TERRIFYING as I’m a pessimistic effer and presumed the situation would fly by and I’d not be onboard. Morven though. Saviour. You accompanied me on that gruelling nine hour journey to London town. You endured the eye-rollingly hilarious-but-at-the-same-time-frightening presence of the Glasgow alcoholics with me and for that I am eternally grateful. That journey was the journey that started them all. Whenever I do the epic Victoria-Southwark walk, I think of you. Thank you for keeping me company while I spazzed out about being in the presence of my comedy idols. Thank you for just generally being the coolest person I know. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to go, so I owe you. Big time. And I love you. Long time.

Sarah and Lynsey (and Matt Berry, Rich Fulcher and Peter Serafinowicz, I suppose!): When I announced that I was gonna go to the launch, Lynsey was ever-so lovely, offering me advice on general Londonness and telling me to get in touch if I got lost or needed anything. As it turns out, Piccadilly is confusing to rookies, although, I still maintain that it’s stupidly laid out! I won’t get into that hoopla, but it resulted in me and my sister in a panic eventually tracking down the wonderful Pigalle Club (by Waterstone’s, but I don’t think I noticed this at the time) and walked past the surprisingly large queue to be stopped by “Kirsten?”. Lynsey and Sarah. Winner. They were insanely lovely from the off and invited us to their table, thus allowing us the opportunity to shout “horse-piss!” in a sophisticated establishment. Life ambition complete! Then I got to meet the idols, indulge in good conversation and many Fulch-hugs and an awkward Berry-hug. Serafinowicz though. Nice! He looked genuinely touched when I complimented him, but I think he was pretty drunk. ANYWAY, if you want to read about that spectacular eve, go here. The point is: Sarah and Lynsey remained. I stayed in touch and I’m glad I did. Over the last few months especially, our friendship has grown into something rather lovely and I suppose I should also thank this place for getting us together to begin with! Sarah, I am still indebted to you for IT Crowd funtimezz and for generally being awesome. I know it’s probably been one of my most-said phrases to you in the last few months, but you know I’m here if you need to chat or just vent. Lynsey, if you really wanna move to the US of States, you’ll find a way of making it happen. Just don’t forget to come home once in a while! Peace and fucking, x.

Gracie: Oh, sister sister! Words cannot express how integral you were to my 2008. I remember before we met up, we had that massive conversation on the phone where you essentially asked why I wanted to move out by the time I was 19 and be in London by my 21st when I could just work on getting to London sooner. In other words, it’s partly your fault I want to be there and I want to be there now! Anyway, our meeting was so relaxed and probably the first time I’ve met an internerd without feeling a little bit nervous. Pret A Manger in Marble Arch makes me happy. I  may have been unbelievably tired after a sleepless bus journey, but this didn’t make me any less joyful and excited to wave the WIN paper at you. So yeah, since then it’s continued to be beautious and although my father is feeling the pressure of having to come up with as many crappy puns as usual, I’m looking forward to you living with me for a few days. I’m so disappointed that I have to work on Sunday though, but we’ll just have a killer Saturday to make up for it. Granted, there’s not too much to do here, but we’ll think of something! Keep on keeping on.

Rhiannon: Rhirving! I know we didn’t hang out much, but it was nice to enjoy a train journey with you and your friends! It’s always really strange when I meet people and they say they’ve been to Aberdeen though. No-one’s been to Aberdeen!

Jubey: Oh, Jubey, I hardly knew ye! It took so long, but we got there in the end. The one thing I regret about that night was that I’d been claiming since December 2007 that we’d both go see the Boosh and we’d meet the Barratt afterwards but we never did. It makes me so happy that you did eventually get to meet him though. You’ve achieved so much this year, it’s insane. But fantastic.

Underhill: Oh, Marty, what would I do without you? …Probably just be stupidly bored and wouldn’t laugh as much or enjoy going on buses. ‘Twas wonderful to make your acquaintance that cold Glesgae eve and the hilarity that ensued was ridiculous. In fact, that whole trip was genius: get it on the List. I hope we both get to London this year and can spend a day just going fucking anywhere for £5(.90). I’m glad that this beautiful friendship spawned from anarchy and being irritating to squares (“Fuck off, Scott!”). I think it set the tone for the future: I’m going to continue laughing. A lot.

Sawyer: Atwood, where’ve you been all my life? After reading your epic life story, I feel like I know everything about you but still have a lot more to learn of, it’s strange. Anyway, yes, you’re still one of the most chilled out and seemingly patient people I know (yeah, you claim you’re not, but you certainly give that impression). Glasgow was too funny and New Year was awesome too. You’re hella comfy! Thanks for the mammories, I’ll get you in a rematch of Top Trumps some day.

Selly: I was clearing out the inbox on my phone the other day and came across a text from you that just said “Well, I want eggs but there are none left. You are really nice. X” and it made me laugh and ‘aww!’ at the same time. I’m very glad to be your friend. Your company in Sheffield was amazing, plus, you know how to dance! I apologise profusely for falling on you at New Year, I hope I didn’t cause too much damage! But yeah, lady, love you long time!

Garry: Oh, mon artiste! Where to start? Why did it take so long? You’re only about an hour’s train journey away! I’m still very happy that we finally got to sit down and have a few drinks, but we must definitely do it again sometime. The itinerary can be: hop on atheist bus, listen to lots of Eighties Matchbox, hop off, get some drinks, watch some dvds and ponder life! I’m so glad you’re loving being an art school kid, I don’t think you realise how amazing your work is, but you really should. I would be happy to hang any of your pieces on my wall. Speaking of which, my pimp mobile is currently blu-tacked to mine under a London tube map. It makes me smile.

Sarah and Dan: Again, it took far too long for this meeting to happen, but I’m delighted that it did! You two are both so lovely and are willing to do anything to make sure people are happy which is terribly sweet. Thank you for giving us all shelter on NYE and being the host and hostess with the most and mostest! I hope things work out job-wise for you, Sarah. But I reckon if you managed to make loads of bracelets and necklaces and the like, you’d find lots of places willing to sell them ‘cos they’re fantastic. I can’t wait for Morrissey. Team Brixton will kick arse. I look forward to this prospect.

Nella: Oh lady miss lady! You make me laugh long time. And you have an amazing taste in everything. I hope you manage to find someone to accompany you to represent the team at the Berry gig. If not, I’m sure he’ll tour and I’m sure I’ll manage to talk myself into going to one of the London gigs he’ll inevitably do, so per’aps see you then. If not, see you in May. Hurrah! Mozmozmoz!

Right, that just about covers the fantastic friends who were vital in 2008, on with the show! Now, where was I? Let’s start from Christmas, shall we?

Morven and Matthew came up on Christmas eve eve and from then on, we had a full house. On Christmas eve we didn’t do much during the day. In the early evening, I went to the Mains with Laura and Ryan and it was packed. Keri was behind the bar and rushed off her feet and Ryan ended up very drunk. It was most amusing. I left early and watched A Muppet’s Christmas Carol, as per every Christmas eve, with the sister and her boy. Then we all went to bed. I watched AD/BC before drifting off as not only is it sheer genius, but it’s all about the nativity so was relevant!
I woke up and ’twas Christmas. We took a while opening all of our stuff which, for me, included: a Dara O’Briain dvd; Rhys Darby’s dvd; inexplicably, a remote control helicopter from Keri; a Make Your Own Spoon Person set; various stocking regulars and an amazing book of postcards called Lost Heroes.
The day passed nicely with us having our dinner with AD/BC on in the background (and the soundtrack when it was finished) and then all of us, minus dad went for a little walk. For some reason I still don’t understand, I decided it would be fun to bring my scooter with me. So I did. Strange. At night time, we were joined by my uncle, auntie and cousin. Much drinking ensued. When they left, I watched some Dara O’Briain and had conversations about businesses with the sister. Fun times. All in all, a lovely lovely christmas. 

On boxing day we didn’t do much again until night time. It was pantotime! Me, Laura, Morven and Matthew got to the theatre and met up with my auntie Carol, Graeme and Dionne. Soon, little Alan turned up and then Granny, auntie Annie, Emma and Nicola. Go team! We found our seats at the back of the stalls and got excited at the prospect of Dr Karl Kennedy as Captain Hook gracing the stage in mere moments. Me and the sister went in search of Maltesers and ended up getting Indian headbands too. When we got back to our seats, Alan, Graeme and Dionne were jealous, so went to buy some crap too.
I’d not been to the panto in years. It was good getting into it. God, I love shouting “Boooo!” and “Hisssssssssss!” at camp actors in a dramatic fashion. Dr Karl was on tip top form and we made plans to go see him perform at the Lemon Tree a week later. We didn’t go in the end which I’m quite sad about. After the show, a few of us went to the Hog’s Head for a few drinks, but we left quite early due to lame tiredness.

I don’t think we did much on the Saturday either. On the Sunday, I had work, but we ended up going to see Twilight at the cinema afterwards. It was hilarious. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be, but the dialogue was crap beyond belief which made it even more funny.

On the Monday, I accompanied the family into town to drop off the sister and her boy at the bus station. An amusing incident occurred in which my mother thought I was still in the car when I wasn’t made us cry with laughter and I left the two to get on their bus and headed to work. Again, I was happy to be there and for about the fourth time in 2008, I felt like it was the last day of school before the Christmas holidays. On Tuesday, I woke up at about 6am and was on a Megabus to London by 7. The journey was quite pleasant. I was sat alone for the majority of it and had plenty of room. Again, about 45 minutes from our destination, I just stared out the window and took it all in. It was dark and as it was still technically the christmas period, everything was lit up and it looked even lovelier than normal. I’d heard from Grace earlier that she was in room 309, so I decided to get the tube to the Travelodge and just go straight up. I think this shocked her a bit, but was still funtimes. We watched some tv and I read her sickbagnote (sickbagnote… they’re my favourite band…) and then we ventured to the 24hr shop and then Chicken Cottage (…mmm.) and back to the Travelodge. I was hella tired, but lay in bed chatting away. We were momentarily distracted by a More Than ad but struggled on. Eventually we went to sleep.

I woke up at about 9.30ish and had a shower, came out and Grace was awake. We ended up watching crappy kids tv shows as we got all of our stuff together. We decided we’d leave most of our bags at Kings Cross. We did so and then headed to Camden where we wandered around for a few hours. And we ended up at Mornington Crescent which filled us with too much joy. We heard Selly was due into London at about 4pm, so made plans to meet up with her. We collected our bags from the station, found out that Grace had been overcharged and so we were forced to take free travel items from the rack. Aww… We got to London Bridge station and got on a train to Anerley where we met up with Selly and walked to Sarah and Dan’s. We got to the flat, dropped off some bags and then me and Selly went to Tesco to get supplies, ie: gin and rum. On our way out, we bumped into Kerry and Sawyer. Almost a full house! On our return, we drank and played the hilarious Strike It Lucky dvd game and music themed Trivial Pursuit. At about 8.30pm everyone had lost track of time and we were wondering why it wasn’t nearly midnight. Then things get a bit hazy. I don’t remember what all we did for the whole time, but I remember trying to diffuse a situation over the phone, bumming Morrissey, printing out my Morrissey ticket, nearly getting a quiff and then midnight happening and being the only Scottish person, I was designated ringleader of Auld Lang Syne. Fail. Give me Travis and the Proclaimers any day!
Again, I don’t remember much. except that Sarah blew up an airbed all on her own. Skills. Then there were four on the floor and two on the couch and we watched Darkplace ’til about 6am and I fell asleep on Sawyer who is mucho comfortable for such a skinny fella! Well done, Chino!

The next day, we awoke and watched the New Bear’s Concert. Next time, we go to Vienna and under-dress. We lounged around most of the day and discovered the delights of Deidre Hall. Nella and Selly got taught how to knit too. It was just generally a lovely day! We watched the whole of Peep Show series one and ended up leaving later than planned. Was sad to say goodbye to Sarah, Dan and a bit later, Selly, but again: Morrissey in May. Let’s make this precious!

Me, Grace, Kerry and Nella got on a train back to London Bridge, then a tube from there to our Travelodge, checked in again and headed to room 110. Then we headed back to London Bridge and went to the Rose where Lynsey and Sarah were. Sarah stayed for about half an hour longer than intended, but it was still lovely to see her even if it was brief. It was much busier in there than anticipated, but I suppose it’s ‘cos it was new year’s day. I look forward to returning when it’s quiet and I can sit in a corner with a book like a nerd. Anyway, we drank, we spoke, we watched Kerry and Nella dance and charm the locals and before we knew it ’twas nearly midnight, so we headed off.

I didn’t get to sleep ’til about 4am and then woke up at 6am. Horrible. My mother phoned as apparently I can’t be trusted to wake up of my own accord. I got ready in the dark and slipped out the door, parting with the words “Bye, guy!” at Nella fifteen minutes later. Got on the tube and was at Victoria coach station by 7am, an hour early for my bus. I was just glad it wasn’t delayed again like last time. Again, the journey wasn’t too bad. I spent the first five hours drifting in and out of sleep, then another three reading Sawyer’s autobiography that I’d stolen from him two nights previous. My dad picked me up from the station when we eventually rolled into Aberdeen and he took me for a Chinese as I was starving. Fun times.

Since my return, I’ve done sweet f.a.
I’ve watched too many dvds to stop me being bored without the internets.
Went to the first pub quiz of the year on Wednesday. I really wasn’t feeling it that night though. Until we got to Exodus. The first person I saw was my friend Noel who I’ve not seen since 2006, so that brightened things up a bit.
I went to the Job Centre yesterday and failed at finding a crappy office job. Agencies it is then! I did, however, buy a Stewart Lee dvd for £cheap at Zavvi. The staff are more talkative now that their shop’s being shut down… As soon as I handed it to the guy behind the counter, he complimented me on my choice and we started talking about the Lee and Robin Ince. Good times. This reminded me to buy a Robin Ince ticket from the Box Office. What a terribly exciting day!
Work wasn’t so bad last night. A woman came up to me and asked if I could recommend her a book. I asked for specifications but there were none to be had, just any fiction book. So I went for Stephen Fry’s ‘The Liar’. I told her I’d have to go serve some guy then I’d be right back over. So I did and by that time she’d read the blurb and said it seemed quite good and asked if there was anything else. I went for the Buddha Of Suburbia. She asked me which was better between it and the Liar, so I told her I preferred the Liar. Then I was gonna tell her that if she was after something a bit darker she might like Will Self, but she was just after something funny. I mentioned that Stephen was probably the best bet then and that he had a very British sense of humour. “Like PG Wodehouse? ‘Cos I love PG Wodehouse.” she replied. It all worked out perfectly then and explained the whole Fry/Jeeves and Wooster thing and so she bought the Liar. I love it when stuff like that happens, like that day where an old woman was asking me what biographies I’d recommend. I like it when customers are sweet. Although, recently I’ve really been thinking about getting another job. I think a dull office job is the way to go. It’d be temporary. I think the only thing I don’t like about my one at the moment is I work the hours no-one else does and I feel a bit isolated. I like the camaraderie of everyone doing the commute to work together, whereas with me I’m there on a Sunday when everyone else is in bed and on a Monday night, when everyone’s going home. Ah well, things can only get better. Cheers, D:Ream.

Hmm… what else? Oh, I caved and got a Twitter account. I remember Hayden telling me to join a few months ago and the Penrose has too recently, so I did it. http://twitter.com/kirstenin if you’re bothered.

Anyway, I should maybe end this here. I feel I should say something profound, but I’m too tired and am gonna go fix myself a rum.

Bring on 2009, gang. Hope it all works out spectacular for you.

Greetings, Traveller

Having been internetless for what seems like a year, I’m back online. I did have the start of an epic blog typed out, but it’s crap so I’m gonna re-write when I get back from the job shop this afternoon. If there’s time. Actually, there won’t be, ‘cos I’ll need to go out for work at 5. Eff it, it’ll turn up tomorrow sometime.

X