In December 2009, I bought the above book. I’d seen it come into stock at my work and thought it looked interesting and I liked a lot of the contributors who had written for it. It’s edited by Ariane Sherine, who is behind the Atheist Bus campaign, and is essentially a collection of writings about various subjects but all with the theme of Christmas/Midwinter/Festivus For The Rest Of Us. The book is split into six categories: Stories, Science, How To, Philosophy, Arts and Events. It is really rather lovely.
I didn’t buy it, however, until a trip to London for my chum Kerry‘s birthday. There was a christmas event on at the Waterstone’s on Gower Street, where loads of authors were going to be signing their books on different floors but at the same time. I arrived there and immediately spotted Rich Fulcher, who was due to be signing his book. I was there to get hold of the book pictured above, though, so tracked down the table for it. Initially, nobody was sitting at it, so I went for a wander and ended up in the science section where I bumped into Robin Ince who I knew was due to be signing the atheist book. I spoke to him for a little bit about Carl Sagan and then let him go back to his table. I figured I should probably leave it a few minutes before following him to get a book signed or else I might look like I was stalking him, so again wandered off. I looked for a copy of the Atheist’s Guide To Christmas, but apparently all of the copies were at the table I was delaying in going to. On my search, I walked past Simon Callow, which was pretty surreal. In my head, he was eating a free mince pie (part of the selling point of the event), but I think I’ve just made this up as I’ve always dreamt that I might, one day, spot Simon Callow in a bookshop eating a pie of some sort.
Soon I headed back downstairs to the Atheist table and saw Robin Ince, Zoe Margolis and Andrew Mueller hidden amongst the massive piles of books. I chatted some more to Robin and rambled at him about bookselling, Aberdeen and the silly night I’d had previous which was responsible for my lifestyle-flu (I get rambly when ill). I believe at one point I used the phrase, “Ugh, bloody Simon Callow, I’m always bumping into him in bookshops… Bastard.”
Note: I do not think Simon Callow is a bastard.
My book eventually was signed by all three sat at the table. I felt quite guilty for not talking to Zoe Margolis and Andrew Mueller much, but they were trying to sign as many books as possible, so I don’t think they minded. They were probably glad of my lack of communication, actually, if they were listening to the crap I was putting poor Robin through.
I left in a better mood than I’d arrived in and jokingly told myself that I’d have to get everybody who contributed to the book to sign it some day.
I thought no more of it until the start of this year when it was announced that Robin Ince would be returning to Aberdeen in May, but with his scientist buddies, Brian Cox, Ben Goldacre and Simon Singh in tow. As a big fan of Cox and Ince’s radio show, the Infinite Monkey Cage, I knew immediately that I’d be going. Also, I’d enjoyed the works of Simon Singh and Ben Goldacre for a while, having seen Singh at last year’s Word Festival and having read and enjoyed Goldacre’s ‘Bad Science’ book immensely.
“Hey!” I thought, after buying tickets, “All four of those guys have written for the atheist book! Bring it with you and get the three signatures you don’t have!”
Great job, brain. It’s nice to have a little project on the go!
So, May finally arrived and I headed, with Dave, to the Music Hall for an evening of Science and Comedy. The first half consisted of chatter from Robin Ince, Matt Parker (guest stand-up mathlete), Ben Goldacre and Brian Cox. During the interval, Ben Goldacre was signing copies of his book in the foyer. I decided that that might be my only chance to get hold of him, so brought my atheist book with me. The crowd around his table was massive, so I thought I’d maybe hang around after the gig and try get him to sign it then instead. Autographs after a gig! I felt like I was fourteen again!
I spotted Simon Singh standing by the table. As he had not been onstage at this point, he wasn’t really being approached by anyone. He was talking to a man, but I waited until he left before asking Simon for a quick signature on my book. He happily obliged and asked, “Didn’t Ben write something for this too?” and called Mr Goldacre over to sign it also, which was very nice of both of them.
After the show, I thought I’d have to stand at the stage door as if I was waiting for Mick Jagger, in order to snare Brian Cox, but apparently I wasn’t quick enough, so missed them leaving. Still, though, two out of three ain’t bad.
The following evening, I went to see Richard Herring at the Lemon Tree. It was the first time he’d been in Aberdeen since 2007, which was exciting. It was his Christ On A Bike show that we’d seen in Edinburgh, so that seemed fairly appropriate. I knew he’d be another one to tick off the list as he always hangs around at the bar after gigs to sell and sign things. Generous fella. I got to the head of the queue and he signed my book.
I said to him that I was trying to get as many people from it as I could and that I figured Simon Le Bon would be the trickiest, even moreso than Dawkins. Again, I punctuated my statement with a ‘…Bastard.’ and he laughed.
Note: I do not think Simon Le Bon is a bastard.
In fact, he seems rather charming. I RIO (really) hope he signs my book. That was terrible, I’m going to go punch myself in the face and eyes.
So. Here is the full list of contributors I’ve still to get. Is it possible? If you know of how these delightful people can be tracked down or you’re friends with Simon Le Bon, please let me know in a comment. After 6pm today, it’ll only be us non-believers left on earth for the next five months of plague and punishment, so in theory, I’ve only got until the 21st of October.
STORIES
-Ed Byrne
-Jenny Colgan
-Emery Emery
-Catie Wilkins
-Simon Le Bon
-Zoe Margolis
-Richard Herring
SCIENCE
-Simon Singh
-Richard Dawkins
-Phil Plait
-Adam Rutherford
-Brian Cox
-Ben Goldacre
-Nick Doody
HOW TO
-Josie Long
-Matt Kirshen
-Claire Rayner
-Siân Berry
-Mitch Benn
-Jon Holmes
-Andrew Mueller
PHILOSOPHY
-Derren Brown
-Charlie Brooker
-Hermione Eyre
-Andrew Copson
-David Stubbs
-Julian Baggini
-A.C Grayling
ARTS
-David Baddiel & Arvind Ethan David
-Anna Pickard
-Kapka Kassabova
-Simon Price
-Natalie Haynes
-Lucy Porter
-Emily Hill
EVENTS
-Robbie Fulks
-Christina Martin
-Graham Nunn
-Robin Ince
-Neil Denny
-Caspar Melville & Paul Simms
-Sid Rodrigues
-Ariane Sherine
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Tags: books, comedy-nerdism
