About the “Author”

Hello humans, robots and water-dwelling mammals.

I’m Kirsten Innes (but have for some time now been pretentiously calling myself Kirsten Inneski for no real reason… I’d get it changed by deed poll if I weren’t so bloody likely to get bored of it and revert back to ‘Innes’ in another year! I also quite fancied having ‘Yeah?’ as a surname like Jonatton Yeah? in Nathan Barley, but apparently, the show lied and you’re not actually allowed punctuation in your name. Boo!) and I apparently put too much information into brackets. Come with me now, as this page slowly gets very out of date and I, lazily, don’t change it.
I was born on the 8th of September 1990 in Aberdeen, where I currently still reside. I hope to one day live in London.

I set up this blog mainly to ramble on about nothing in particular, but hopefully in a way that could possibly keep you mildly entertained in a spare five minutes or so.

I analyse things too much and claim lots of things to be “actual genius”. Things that I have said to be this in the past are mainly comedy or music related. These are my two main passions and I could ramble about them until the internet ran out of pixels or however it works. Technology, eh?
I’m never quite sure what to say about myself in things such as these and often either say too little or far too much (I feel this particular profile may ebb on the latter).
So I tend to list specific things I nod approvingly at… (Having money, buying hardback books for paperback prices, telling stories, listening to stories, making people laugh, nostalgia, watching films with good people, demanding hugs, meeting idols, acting a bit flamboyantly and pretentiously to escape from the reality that is my boring self, discussing things passionately, philosophical conversations, random walks, discovering an amazing band that no-one you know likes, hearing a song in the dark when you can’t sleep that seems freakishly life-affirming at the time, blagging entrance into places for free, blagging free things, holding everyone’s attention, that feeling of relief I used to get after double psychology on a Tuesday afternoon as I knew the week was easy from then on, meeting people who don’t know how wonderful they are, being a nerd and having nerdy friends, listening to dvd commentaries of tv shows, sometimes being alone, being part of a double act, introducing people to things I’m passionate about and allowing others to recommend things to me: cultural exchanges)
…and things I am sickened by (People who go out of their way to try and be “different” and “quirky”, bandwagon-jumpers, people who can tell you exactly what they’ve had to drink, people who tell you how drunk they are, people who act superior when you’ve been drunk and make you feel bad for being in such a condition, when my iPod runs out of juice, people who have little irritating nicknames that they’ve given themselves and no-one has ever said out loud that are pathetically alliterative [I think I'd be given something pish like Kirsten KAOS!!! -yes, not chaos: KAOS.], people who don’t understand passion, having the immune system of a small, possibly dead puppy)

Right, eff it, it looks as though this is going down the really-over-longingly-long-long path of being a beast of a profile, so I may as well continue, no? (I heard you scream “no!”, but I’ve already made my mind up.)
As mentioned before, comedy and music are the main interests in my life. Sad, eh? I made it a resolution in about 2006 to agree to go to any music gigs that anyone offered me tickets to. This resulted in a year’s worth of witnessing (mostly) fantastic live antics, but also allowed me to open my mind a bit and got me into new stuff. It’s sort of like saying “Yes” more which prompted me to read Danny Wallace’s book, Yes Man. I’m not going as far as him, but I’ve realised that I need to make some big, seemingly stupid decisions or else I’ll hate myself forever. A prime example of this happened to me in June 2008. I was offered a guestlist place +1 to the launch of Snuff Box on dvd. To those unfamiliar with the show, it is written by and stars Matt Berry and Rich Fulcher who just so happened to be two of my comedy idols at the time. (They still rank pretty highly with me, I’m just not so obsessive these days!) Anyway, the launch was due to take place in Piccadilly, London and I’m up in Aberdeen, close to Iceland, Scotland. I wanted to die a slow and painful death a bit after finding out I had tickets because I kept thinking of how impossible it would be to actually get there. Then I realised that if I didn’t at least try to go I’d hate myself forever. So, I set about trying to find the cheapest way of getting to London and getting somewhere to stay and in the end, I somehow managed it. It did involve a 3hour Megabus trip to Edinburgh, then a 9hour Megabus trip to London itself, but I still conclude that it was totally worth it as it was a fantastic night and I got to meet my heroes.

So, from being a cynical dweeb, I’ve sort of changed a bit and started taking risks. If you don’t do it, you won’t get anywhere and if you want something badly enough, you can get it.

I think I might now be a motivational speaker…

I predict this page will get hideously dated, but I look at how much I typed and like some of it, so I don’t think I could go ahead with deleting it and starting again… For now I’ll say that when I finally move to London, I’ll change all of the above… or maybe just make a new page for an updated biography. I’m pretty self-indulgent like that, but you knew that anyway.

In this blog, I mentioned that I have a list of things I’d like to achieve at some point in my life… It’s called a Life-List because I think that’s a bit cheerier than ‘Things I’d Love To Do Before I Die’. Anyway, it’ll live here and I’ll update it whenever necessary…

-Meet Charlie Brooker
-Meet Graham Linehan [Proof!]
-Meet Chris Morris
-Meet Stewart Lee
-Write and perform a passable half-hour stand-up show
-Write at least one decent episode of a sitcom
-Spend some time in London with Gracie [Proof! (And several times since)]
-Sleep on Selly’s floor [Proof!]
-Do something productive with the List with Kerry
-Give Stephen Fry a hug
-Light a cigarette for an idol
-Meet Matt Berry again and leave him not thinking I’m an idiot [This may be subjective... Proof!]
-Produce an amusing podcast
-Pay for my parents to go on holiday
-See a musical idol perform a homecoming gig [See Selly's floor blog]
-Read every Kurt Vonnegut book